Gear Up: The Best White-Noise Machines — And Why Every #BougieDad Needs One

Whoever knew sleeping would be this hard?

The first six months of my daughter’s life, my wife and I were lucky if we slept three hours a night. And that was on a good day.

When you first have a baby, a full night of sleep can feel like hitting the lottery.

The best way to feel rested on the regular is to make sure your kid goes down, and stays down, for the night.

If you just became a dad, you probably think I’m crazy for suggesting such a thing is even possible. As it is, you haven’t slept in a week. Or more. Hell, yesterday, you put your pants on backwards.

But it is possible — and the first step to a good night’s sleep for you and baby is, if you can believe it, noise.

White noise.

If you’re just discovering the power of white noise as a sleep aid, research shows white noise can help babies fall asleep faster and keep them asleep by blocking out household disturbances, like the TV, the icemaker or those damnable creaks in your floorboards.

But not all white noise is good noise, dads. In some cases, doctors have suggested that machines that are too loud or placed too close to a child’s bed, can be harmful. Not to mention different babies (and people) respond differently to different frequencies and sounds. So, it’s important to keep these factors in mind. Still, almost any new parent will tell you, the right white-noise machine is a game-changer.

As you build your arsenal of gear for the first six months of life, tools to preserve your sleep and sanity should be at the top of your list. Here are five white-noise machines to consider installing in your kid’s room for the foreseeable future. Put one of these babies in your cart today. You can thank me later. After you get some rest.

Remember what we said about volume and distance from the crib? That’s not a problem for the Lectro Fan.

It’s small size means you can move the machine easily anywhere in the room. The volume can be easily lowered (or raised) at the push of a button and a convenient timer feature means you can choose to stop the noise once your baby is sound asleep.

Confession: My wife and I hardly use the timer. We keep the thing running all night — and even use it during the day while we work from home in different rooms and our daughter is at daycare.

This little baby comes in a small package, which is great because you can easily throw it in a tote for a trip down the interstate to visit the grandparents.

If you’re worried about yet another hunk of plastic junking up your design aesthetic, the Lectro Fan comes in several neutral colors and is small enough (at 4 x 2 inches) to fade into the background in most rooms.

Despite its small size, there is no lack of sounds from which to choose. The base model, which we bought, features 10 different fan noises and 10 different white, pink and brown noises. It plugs into the wall. Though the company makes other versions that are compatible with USB and/or have a rechargeable battery.

Verdict: Simple. No frills. Effective. Portable. The Lectro Fan gets the job done when it comes to providing optimal sleeping conditions for you and your baby.

The Hatch Baby Rest Sound Machine has tech-company DNA all over it. Perhaps most impressive is that you can control it from an app on your smartphone, which means you don’t have to fumble around in the dark, or risk waking up a sleeping kiddo to turn the thing on and off, or adjust the sound or volume. A smart scheduling feature lets you turn the tech on and off in sync with your kid’s bed-time routine and sleep schedule.

If you couldn’t tell from the photo, This Hatch Baby is Bougie as hell. The Rest’s slick modern design, including its adjustable night light (more on that later), looks intentional and perfectly placed atop a nursery shelf or dresser. A special “coverlet” feature (sold separately), even lets you throw out different light patterns to match your nursery’s design aesthetic. So, yeah.

The Hatch Baby Rest looks great and works effortlessly. It’s the embodiment of nursery chic. But don’t let its minimalist design fool you. The Hatch Baby Rest packs a powerful punch in terms of features.

The smart app lets you easily choose the type of white noise you want to play, while adjusting both the volume and the color and brightness of the machine’s built-in night light right from your phone’s touch-screen.

While our daughter prefers to sleep in the dark with no night light, we found this feature just right for those rare occasions when she woke with a dirty diaper and we wanted to slip back into the room without flipping on the wall switch and plunging our night into chaos.

The machine also has a feature that helps you to establish critical routines. You can set a “rise time,” designed to help your kiddo wake up in the morning. A “bedtime” setting uses a combination of music and colors to signify it’s time to wind down and head for bed.

Confession: While the “bedtime” feature sounded cool to us, we didn’t end up using it much. Our bedtime routine consists of storytime and some soft singing after lights out. But everyone is different.

Verdict: If you’re into tech and want something that you can control from your phone that looks cool in the nursery, with plenty of sound and light options, Hatch Baby is a solid choice. Though we found some of the features didn’t get used much as we would have liked.

You’ve honestly got to see this thing to believe it.

When our daughter was born, we spent close to $300 on all manner of tech for noise and video monitoring. It wasn’t long before we started running out of outlets.

In terms of features, temperature and humidity was something we honestly didn’t think about until six months in, when our little nugget moved out of our room and into the nursery.

Because we live in an older home with radiator heat, temperature has become a nightly topic of discussion, especially during the winter months. Like the Hatch Baby, you can operate the Ohma directly from your smartphone.

While we didn’t find the app as easy to use as Hatch Baby’s, the addition of full 1080p HD video with night vision lets you keep a close eye on your little one, while they are sleeping and a motion sensor sends an alert to your phone if your kid starts fussing or moving around too much.

I almost forgot this was a post about white-noise machines!

With 20 sounds, and the ability to adjust the volume and select different frequencies from your smartphone, Ohma’s got you covered. We found the sounds to be pleasing and capable of easily drowning out most ambient noise.

Of course, if we’re being honest, you aren’t buying the Ohma for its noise options.

Verdict: Yogasleep’s Ohma’s a great piece of all-in-one baby tech with a solid HD monitor and useful temperature and humidity sensors. If you’re in the market for these tools and want an adjustable nightlight and capable noise machine built in, Yogasleep’s Ohma could be the choice for you.